Exuding confidence for men is not about how you feel as a man, it is your state of being. It is about who you are, which includes your mindset, actions, beliefs and experiences. Even though it is possible to be taught how to be confident looking, being confident comes from within [1]. Here are 11 steps to help you radiate confidence.
1. Be Yourself
Most people can spot a phoney from a mile away. To exude confidence you need to be authentic. You also need to be comfortable with who you are as a person. You need to like yourself with all your quirkiness. This is the foundation of confidence. This doesn’t mean you can’t improve your physical appearance or learn new things. It means that being genuine and believing in who you are as a person is the foundation of confidence.
2. Have Fun
Stop worrying, have fun and embrace the journey. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Confidence shines through when you’re enjoying yourself. Having fun means you smile and laugh more often. People are attracted to people who are having fun. Similarly, they avoid those with an expressionless or scowling appearance. Having fun shows you’re comfortable in your own skin.
3. Build Your Potential
You can’t reasonably exude self confidence if you haven’t invested the time in building your knowledge or life experiences. A foundation is gained through education and trying new things. A natural curiosity in learning or trying new things helps to build that foundation. There is no end to learning new things in the age of the internet. Can you plumb a bathroom, swing a baseball bat or skin a fish? Stay curious and don’t say no to new things.
4. Be Prepared
Having a strong education and a large range of experiences doesn’t mean you can wing it when you are called to action. Don’t enter a meeting without knowing the topic of discussion, the people involved and what you want to get out of the meeting. Similarly, don’t invite people for dinner without planning the event, researching what to prepare and how you might entertain your guests. Being prepared shows you care and are ready for whatever comes your way.
5. Do What You Fear
To exude confidence you need to take chances in life – you can’t just coast through life and expect people to take you seriously. Facing your fears isn’t just about being brave it means being prepared, knowing the risks, and dealing with them as they arise.
You should be afraid of rock climbing if you don’t have the proper equipment and hours of experience climbing the indoor rockwall. Getting into the ring with someone should scare you if you haven’t first built up your skills and practiced with a sparring partner.
Conquering fear makes you more capable and ready to face adversity. It helps you build resilience
6. Believe in the Impossible
The most limiting thought is to tell yourself you can’t do something. People are capable of extraordinary things. There are countless stories of people of all ages doing amazing things and thereby accomplishing their goals. Unbreakable self confidence means that you must believe you can achieve even the most difficult things. You aren’t limited to the here and now. Your current situation may not allow you to run a marathon tomorrow but you can in the future. This is a necessary belief that moves you forward and keeps you motivated.
7. Don’t Ask for Advice
The opinion of others should never be a gauge to what you can accomplish. They have their own limitations, belief systems and jealousies that limit their perspective. They also may be so familiar with you that they can’t see you in a different light. This doesn’t mean you should never seek guidance, but rather there is a difference in trusting your own judgement and putting equal weighting in the opinion of others.
8. Take Action
The best way to gain confidence is to continually and successfully reach milestones and accomplish goals. How can you be confident in yourself and your abilities if you don’t do things that challenge you? Confidence isn’t binary, it is a range with no limit, the more you achieve, the more confident you become. You can’t very well believe you will go to the moon if you haven’t left your neighborhood.
| QUOTE Believe you can and you’re halfway there. ~ Theodore Roosevelt |
9. Have Courage to Fail
The famous leadership author John C Maxwell once said “Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward”. Why? Because people learn through failure. It is a good reminder that the only way you’re going to get good at something is to be bad at it first. This is because many people don’t even bother trying new things and so never fail. In many cases it is because they are afraid of failure that they don’t try.
A confident man knows that failure is not a step back but a path forward. Failure can beat you down; don’t let it. It’s a chance to learn and grow, which is necessary for building and maintaining confidence.
10. Embrace Improvement
What many people think about when they want to become more confident is how to ‘act’ the part. Becoming more confident doesn’t come from looking polished with head up, shoulders back, and wearing a nice suit. These are cosmetic changes and don’t last.
When your motivation comes from continuous improvement in life, you won’t need to act. Being the wisest, most knowledgeable, fittest, and most accomplished person in the room is what you really want to strive for. Looking confident is then just a byproduct.
11. Focus on Strengths not Weaknesses
Spending too much time improving upon your weaknesses may be a waste of time and can be demotivating. Alternately, focus more so on your strengths. That isn’t to say you shouldn’t be aware of your weaknesses. By knowing both your strengths and weaknesses you can play up one while minimizing the other. Remember though to keep trying new things. You never know what else you may excel at.
Conclusion: Exuding Confidence for Men
Exuding confidence is about more than just outward appearances; it’s about internal strength and self-belief. The 11 steps outlined above are stepping stones to a more confident you.
This journey requires patience and persistence, especially as it’s not a direct path. Even though, you may face failure remember this is part of the process. So stand tall, move forward, and chart your own path to confidence, knowing that you have the tools to get you there.
For additional ideas on self improvement, take a look at The Power of Keystone Habits: Life changing Habits.
